if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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