Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
