You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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