But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
