Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
