Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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