He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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