Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
