At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
