I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
