"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
