So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
