We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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