No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
