you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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