Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
