I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
