Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
