Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
