went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
