It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
