You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
