it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
