I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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