we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
