You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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