There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
