WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize