i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
