Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Houston, we have a squirter
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
