Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Bring me that man meat
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
