thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
