TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
