Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
if only i could text you this smell
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize