wrigley field is MILF paradise
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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