On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
