so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize