Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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