I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
