can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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