that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
