Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize