Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
