you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
