Someone shit on the floor
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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