She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
