note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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