OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
