Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
