you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
