Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
