I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize