What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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