Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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