her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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