I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
