Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
