omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
