Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
