We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
