"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
