question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
