Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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