O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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