Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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