Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
