Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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