I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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