And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
