How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
