ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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