you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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