we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
