never play flip cup with pint glasses
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You were trust falling into bushes
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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