Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize