I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
