This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
