why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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