Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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