I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
